Parental Burnout: Self-Care Tips for Parents of Children with Mental Health Needs and Medical Complexity.

Being a parent is one of the most exciting yet challenging roles we can take on in life. Addressing the needs of a child who struggles with mental health issues or a chronic condition can bring extra challenges in life and almost seem to separate parents from a sense of normalcy. 

Caring for a child with mental, medical, neurological, or chronic illness can take an even heavier toll on your own health and well-being. For some moms and dads, the imprints of daily stressors can manifest through physical sensations in different ways in the body, while for others, it can bring about a disturbed sleep cycle or preoccupation with thoughts and feelings.

Countless challenges, changes, and adjustments to fit your children’s needs can not only leave a mark on our mental health, but also cause stress that presents itself in the form of physical symptoms. Have you ever wondered where your migraines, back pains, joint pains, fatigue or general exhaustion might be coming from?   

Imagine a musical quartet with each musician in sync, the room filled with harmonious sound.  Now imagine that one of the musicians is out of tune and how this affects the whole song. Something very similar might be happening in your brain when exposed to daily stress from the countless challenges involved in caring for a child with mental health needs or medical complexity.  

Here I have compiled tips for moms and dads of vulnerable children to help them learn to cope with daily stressors:

  1. As parents, we tend to put our children’s needs above anything else. And while this might sound like the right thing to do, it is also important to prioritize your own physical and mental health. Remember, your good health and strong immune system play a critical role in the progress, growth, development, and well-being of your child. Find ways to incorporate “me time” in your daily schedule. Whether that is making time to get outdoors, taking time to prepare and eat nutritious meals, talking to a friend, moving your body through dance, sport, or exercise, and finding a new hobby. If you are still struggling, consider talking to a therapist.

  2. Now that we addressed our own mental health and well-being, time to find or create a sense of normalcy! I feel this part is crucial for the families as a whole! Try to find a sense of calmness and wholeness by focusing on your own family and their needs. Establishing a sense of normalcy can help reduce stress and allow us to feel more in control of how we plan our days.

  3. Be the best advocate for your child. Seek professional and educational help, connect with other parents with similar experiences. While social media can be overwhelming at times, there are great support groups and some of them might be helpful in finding that sense of normalcy, acknowledgment, and support. Seek support for yourself by talking to a doctor or mental health professional. They can help you or navigate in the right direction on how to find support you might need.

  4. Live in the moment. Find a sense of profound joy by remaining present and engaged, either it’s a play or reading a book. Children can feel our energy and mood. They are more in tune with feelings and emotions than we think. There is always this invisible thread that connects us on an intuitive level. At times our minds may wander away from being present with our children. When that happens, simply acknowledge and bring yourself back with compassion and empathy. 

Helping parents find their sense of normalcy and learning how to live in harmony, has been my long calling. I know daily struggles from carrying for a child with chronic illness or mental health problems can be overwhelming. Bring up courage and bravery to be the best advocate for your child. Reach out for help if you need a jump-start and professional support.